I am thankful for Carter. This little
guy is the best thing that ever happened to me. He was born at a time in
my life when Heavenly Father knew I would need him most. He was worth
the wait. I never thought I would only have one child but if this is the
way it needed to be then I'm grateful my little sweet pea choose me. It
is an overwhelming responsibility to be a Mom and I often wonder if I
am up to the task. It doesn't help that I was expressing my doubts on
this subject to Kyle once and he informed he wondered about that
himself. Needless to say I was quite hurt and the silent treatment was
administered to him. I try not to let this be something I constantly
worry about but I admit it's something I worry about. A big help is that
I have the best example in the world to follow in my own mom. If I can
do even a fraction as well as she has I'll be happy.
When
I was pregnant I wondered how long it would take me to grow to love
him. It is amazing to me how it happened instantly for me. I'm not known
for my patience and wondered how I would be with him. Once a baby
started fussing I immediately ready to give them back to their mom.
People always told me it is different with your own and I thought they
were full of crap. I now have to admit they were right. I know it won't
matter what Carter does or the mistakes he makes I will always love him.
I watch him sleep and he is so peaceful. He is such a wonderful blessing.
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