Thursday, December 30, 2010

Our Christmas 2010

We had a wonderful Christmas this year. We spent Christmas Eve in Salt Lake with Kyle's family. Kat and Darren were kind enough to have us over for a delicious dinner on Christmas Eve. It was fun to spend time with their boys who were so excited for Santa Claus to come. After dinner Kyle and I went and walked around Temple Square and looked at the lights. It was beautiful and very peaceful.

Bryson played his recorder for us.

Christmas PJ's for the boys
Christmas morning Kyle's family came over to his parents for breakfast. Hydee had fixed her usual feast. After breakfast we opened presents and enjoyed each others company.

Hydee's Breakfast Spread
Us with Don and Hydee on Christmas morning

The video file of the whole family ping pong gun fight is too large to post.  So you only get to see Kari.

We joined my family at Susan and Craig's house Saturday night for dinner with the Petersen crew and then came home to open gifts with my family.

Marlee and Brooklyn
Garrett was in awe of his horse barn
A rare photo of Tyler
Gifts at Mom and Dad's
We have an amazing family and we enjoyed our day with them. They love us very much and we are fortunate to have them.  We received many gifts from secret santas this year and if you know anything about that then please know we couldn't be more grateful for your love and generosity.  We hope you all had a very merry Christmas as well and have felt the Christmas spirit as strongly as we have this year.

Friday, December 24, 2010

Merry Christmas!!!



Merry Christmas From Our House To Yours!!!
 

Thursday, December 23, 2010

A Thank You From the Bottom of our Hearts

It's been no secret that the past few months have been less than wonderful for us and financially things are far from where we would like them to be.

This past week we have been receiving blessings from several Secret Santas.  We don't know who all of these much needed blessings are coming from but we couldn't let them go by without saying thank you and letting you know how much your kindness is appreciated.  This will be a Christmas we won't ever forget.  So Merry Christmas and thank you from the bottom of our hearts.

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

A Trip to Bethlehem

We had a wonderful experience a few weekends ago.  Kyle and I got to spend a day tending Garrett and Abby.  In Nibley they do a live nativity once a year so we bundled up the kids and took them over to see it. It was an amazing experience. The feeling of the spirit was very strong.  Garrett reached up and took my hand and said, "Kami, are we in Bethlehem?"  He and Abby enjoyed seeing the sheep, donkeys, and Moses the camel.  He has been telling everyone how he went to Bethlehem and saw the shepherds, and wise men and baby Jesus.   He is so cute!  I could just eat him up.


Wednesday, December 8, 2010

"It's Been Really Bad"

I've debated back and forth for awhile on if I was going to write about what has been going on in my life the last few months.  In the words of Natalie's little guy Garrett after knocking over the Christmas tree, "It's really bad."  I've been in a really bad place for the last couple of months and I've pretty much tried to keep it off my blog, partly because I haven't had the words or even the desire to try and explain it, but the other night while laying in bed some of the words I wanted to express came to me and so I feel that there must be someone out there who needs to hear that they aren't alone in what they are going through.  There are people who understand and you don't have to be alone.  Don't get discouraged by those who don't understand.  Unless someone has gone through this themselves they will not get it. Hopefully they will still be compassionate and loving, but don't expect understanding.  I'm fortunate that I have an awesome Mom who has been where I am and an amazing doctor who hasn't given up on finding something to help me.  My Dad and Kyle have been awesome.  Kyle has no idea what to do with me, but just laying on the bed and holding me while I cry has does more than words can say.  The people I work with are incredible and have been completely supportive.  The notes and flowers I have received from friends mean so much.

My mind has been in a weird place.  It is a constant fight to get out of it.  Sometimes I would succeed for a day or even several days and things would seem to be better until I ended up here again.  In this place things feel completely overwhelming and hopeless with no chance for things to get better.  I didn't just wake up here one day.  It took awhile and a lot of stress and having to deal with a lot of problems for me to get here. 

This place I'm in feels like a big hole that I'm drowning or sinking in .  As one more problem, one more bill, one more thing for me to handle piles up on top of me it becomes too heavy for me.  Too much for me to balance and I start falling, sinking.  The load just kept getting heavier and harder to handle and no one has been able to help. 

In September I guess it all just became too much for me to deal with and I had a nervous/mental breakdown or whatever you want to call it.  I got on some medications and it seemed to help for awhile.  I was out of work for almost 2 months, which didn't help our financial situation.  Kyle hasn't been able to collect unemployment since August when he had the first of his surgeries, which is what started our whole financial disaster to begin with. 

Three months later I am on completely different medications than I begin with and I am making it to work.  Some days that is all I do, but at least I accomplished that.  I dread opening the mail because it means one or more bills I don't know how I am going to pay.  When the phone rings I just plan on it being a problem.  I can honestly say I wouldn't have made it through this without my incredibly awesome and supportive family.  They are so completely amazing.

I know there are a lot of people who don't believe in talking medication to help with your problems, but I don't think I would be here without it.  If you are feeling down and it isn't getting better go see your doctor.  There is nothing wrong with asking for help and no one even needs to know.  I know so many people who have been helped by medications.  The amazing LDS singer/songwriter Michael McLean has been clinically depressed for over 30 years and this year has made a real push to get people to go get help if they need it.

I don't tell you about this so that you can feel sorry for me, but in hopes that it might help someone else realize there is help available for depression if they need it.  You are not alone and I would be happy to do anything I can to help you.  Just let me know.  kamia911@gmail.com