It is unfortunate that in my life I have had the experience of watching too many of those I love die. My Grandpa LaMar died suddenly when I was 10 years old. As painful as that experience was, I later came to realize it was a blessing he died the way he did. I was there when my Great-aunt Venice passed away. I watched Grandma Ila's health decline for years. Grandpa Farrell also suffered for years. They had no quality of life left at the end.
When I heard Shane was sick I was devastated. In my mind he has always been my handsome, strong cousin who I had a huge crush on growing up. I also felt so bad that we hadn't seen each other for years. When I walked in his hospital room I barely recognized him. He was a shell of his formal self, but as soon as he spoke I knew he was the same man I always loved. It was agony to watch him suffer.
I am so grateful for the time we had with him while he was here in Salt Lake at the Huntsman Cancer Hospital. We were able to reconnect and get to know his wonderful wife Abby. She is an amazing, giving woman. Shane loved her so much and he was the love of her life. I hated that he had to suffer as long as he did.
The thing I have learned from all of these experiences is that we don't have any control over when we die. It happens when Heavenly Father is ready and not before. Grandma was ready to go for weeks before she finally was able to. Shane seemed to have to suffer forever and he still didn't want to die, but went anyway. My theory is we will die when it's our time and we might as well accept that and not worry about it.
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