A Dash of Hope or Dashed Hopes

About a month or so ago things were going pretty well for Kyle and I. Kyle’s health was stable. I was feeling good. We hadn’t had any catastrophes for a week or two. Money wasn’t flowing in, but we were paying our bills. Kyle was doing some work for his Mom and had a possibility of another job he may be able to do lined up. I didn’t dare comment on it out loud to anyone, but in the back of my mind I dared to hope that maybe things were starting to turn around for us. I was feeling hope and peace for the first in a really long time. I should have known better.

Within the next week, a bulge Kyle has had on his side was determined by a surgeon to be a tumor. It would have to come out so the doctor ordered a scan to see how invasive it was. We had our Lumina for 4 months and Kyle hated it. I heard about it everyday (I didn't really like it much either). He found another used car he wanted to trade it on. We made arrangements to complete the deal on Saturday.  Thursday night I got a call from Kyle to come pick him up. The Lumina quit in a puff of smoke. Diagnosis: terminal with a seized motor. Then Kyle got a new sore on his foot. Moreover, for the finale, I came down with a bad case of the flu that it took me two weeks to get rid of. Just like that, I felt my hope dashed into a million pieces.

Shane’s wife Abby told me that when it rains it really does pour. I told her when it rains on Kyle and I it floods, but its okay because we are becoming experts at bailing water.

Kyle had a CT Scan and believe it or not there was no tumor found. Everything looks great. I had spent days preparing myself for the very worst. I just stared at the doctor. He probably wondered what was wrong with me. I no longer know how to react to good news; Kyle’s foot is free of sores for the time being; He got a job at The Trophy Corner. He is in charge of the trophy assembly. He loves it and his boss loves him. He is working more than I think he should, but I can’t stop him. It is as if he is the energizer bunny. He is working 10 and 12 hours a day. This job has made a world of difference in him. He has his confidence and self-worth back. He is the Kyle I fell in love with. It is fun to watch him. He comes home every night and tells me every thing that happened during his day; we donated the Lumina to the kidney foundation and somehow came up with the extra money for the other used car. Kyle loves it and doesn't complain about it all the time; And I got over the flu and replaced it with a cold and allergies.

With the coming of the spring weather this week a feeling of hope has come back for me. There is a dash of hope in my heart. I feel peaceful. I am trying not to have the attitude of waiting for the other shoe to drop. I actually feel as if I can enjoy the moment. The heavy clouds that too often hang over me seem to have dissolved in the sunlight of the warm spring day. I’ll take it for however long it lasts.