20 Week Ultrasound

Wednesday morning was my 20-week ultrasound. Mom and Marlee went with me. It seemed wrong to be going without Kyle. But once we got there Mom and I both felt he was in the room with us. Mom sat there with tears running down her cheeks. The tech just handed her a box of Kleenex. 

The baby did not want to cooperate and we were there quite a while before they were able to get the pictures they needed. They kept pushing on my belly to try and get him to move and show them what they needed, but he wouldn't move to where they needed him too. It was weird to know this baby was  really inside of me and that as much as he was moving I couldn't feel it. It was really amazing to see his little hands and feet waving around. We never did get a good picture of him though. 

When we got home Emily was there with Gracie and Ella. It was good to spend a few minutes with them. Hugs from the girls were just what I needed. Ella was jabbering away and it was good to have a distraction.

Dad, Mom, and I packed up and headed down to Salt Lake with the plan to stay until after the funeral. The closer I got to the house the harder it got. When I got there Button (Kyle's dog) practically crawled up me. She was a mess. They said she laid with him until he was found and then didn't want anyone to touch him. She was glad to see us. She snuggled up with Dad while we talked. 

Hydee was at the house and Bishop Yates and the Relief Society president came over when we got there. He told us about the last meeting he'd had with Kyle, which I mentioned in my last post. Don and Hydee had already gone to the mortuary and made arrangements. Kari wrote a nice obituary for Kyle. I had asked Hydee earlier to run it in the Logan paper and we discussed putting in there about the baby, but with all she had going on neither happened.  When I realized that on Thursday I wrote my own obituary for The Herald Journal. 

After the Bishop left I asked to go down to Kyle's room. It was hard to go in there with all his stuff. He jeans were on the floor where he always dropped them. I was ready to fall apart, but Hydee followed me down and I was able to hold it together. Katrina and Mandy came over and I was happy to see them. I didn't get to see Don. He was over at Kory's helping him and Kevin with the casket. I still can't believe they were willing to do that for Kyle. 

By the time we got to the hotel that night I was emotionally and physically exhausted. My doctor had given me a sleeping pill with instructions to take it. I did and got a much needed night of good sleep.