Today was the 2nd year angelversary for Kyle's passing. None of my family or friends remembered. I don't think people realize how much that means. Taking the time to put a reminder on your calendar to renew each year doesn't take that long but would mean the world to someone else. I screwed up a reminder about my cousins death date this year and missed contacting my aunt and I still feel so sorry about that. There isn't a time limit on grief. Telling someone that it's time to get over it it thoughtless and cruel. When you lose someone you love you don't just get over it. Most people don't understand and I'm thankful they don't have to. I joined a group on Facebook for Widows/Widowers. There are people on there that are still having a horrible time with grief up to 7 and 8 years after their spouse's death. It's horribly sad. I've discovered you don't necessarily go through the stages of grief in the order the professionals suggest, but you do experience them at some point. I've dealt with them all and for the most part I'm fine.
The last week or so I've been remembering so many moments Kyle and I had together. It's like a movie running in my mind. I've been thinking how much he would be enjoying the fun things I've been doing. There is still a little regret but for the most part I've learned to deal with that and realize it doesn't help anyone. There are also lots of fun, great memories. He would love what I have been doing the last few weeks. He would have had a blast going with Dad in the Rzr on ATV rides. He would have adored Carter. If he is one of his guardian angels then he has a full-time job keeping him safe. This kid has no fear. He runs full speed ahead, with complete trust someone will be there to catch him when he falls.
I know Heavenly Father indeed gives us tender mercies. I don't know how it is possible but Carter will look at me with Kyle's same twinkle in his eye. He has Kyle's hairline and his hair curls up the exact same way when it gets a little long. He sometime gives me a look and will look so much like him. I appreciate these glimpses of Kyle. It seems like he has been gone forever and yet I seem to remember every moment together. I'm grateful for these memories, especially today. I loved him so much
