The Viewing

I knew Friday was going to be a hard day and I dreaded it. We stayed around the hotel in the morning and Dad brought us some lunch. I had overheard one of the ladies say the mortuary would be open at 4:00. The viewing didn't start until 6:00. But I didn't want a crowd when I saw Kyle. 

After Mom, Dad, and I were ready Mom said a really nice prayer and Dad gave me a blessing. I pulled myself together and we left. We got there about the same time as Don and Hydee. Hydee had been there earlier and dressed Kyle in his temple clothes. 

I went in and spent a few minutes by the casket with Kyle. Up until the moment you see the body it's easier to convince yourself it isn't happening. He looked awful. It wasn't my Kyle in there. I would have been better off not seeing the body. I remember telling him things weren't suppose to end this way. I fell apart but pulled myself back together. 

After that the mortuary pulled me into the office to sign a form they needed. It stated that I turned the rights over to Kyle's parents and that I agreed with the decisions made. Hydee, Don, and their family did a good job making the arrangements. If I could have changed one thing it would have been to have the nice programs made that the mortuary prints out for the funeral. Other than that it was everything I could have wanted. 

It's hard to know where you fit in a situation like this. It's very awkward. The whole mortuary experience was hard and uncomfortable. I kind of hung around off to the side of the casket. If someone came in who only knew me I would go visit with them for a few minutes so they didn't feel they needed to go through the line. I was touched by my friends and family who came to support me. People often surprise me. 

Once everything was over my family left to go back to the hotel. We stopped at The Brick Oven for dinner. I wish I'd had more of an appetite as the food was very good.  

After things settled down and I was laying in bed I felt the baby move for the first time. It was amazing. I guess he knew I needed a pick me up. Something to get me through the funeral. I knew it was going to be a really emotional day. I was praying I could hold things together.